A Beginner’s Guide to Dealing With Grief: (Because None of Us Are Experts at First)

Grief doesn’t come with a manual — just a foggy sense that nothing feels quite right anymore. It shows up uninvited, overstays its welcome, and refuses to follow the polite schedule you hoped it might.

If you’re new to grief, first of all: I’m so sorry. Truly. Whatever or whoever you’ve lost — a person, a relationship, a sense of stability — it matters. And your grief matters too.

The first thing to know? You’re not doing it wrong.

There’s no checklist, no five-step sequence that tidily wraps up your feelings and moves you forward. Grief is more like a loop than a line. One day you might feel strangely okay. The next, the grocery store soundtrack ruins your afternoon. And honestly? That’s normal.

Grief is deeply personal. It can be quiet or loud. Numb or raw. It can look like tears or total detachment. It might come with anger, relief, guilt, confusion — or all of the above, sometimes before noon.

What helps? Sometimes, it’s simply naming what’s happening. Sometimes, it’s letting someone into the mess with you. Therapy can offer a space where your grief doesn’t need to be edited, rushed, or translated. It just gets to exist — and be met with compassion.

If you’re grieving, you don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to “move on.” You just need space to move through.